Hell Yeah or No - Derek Sivers
Last modified:A bunch of vignettes on how to figure out what is worth doing and make yourself the person you'd like to be. Here are some of my main takeaways, some of which map pretty closely to the themes he uses to organize the book.
Make space. As you may be able to guess from the title, this largely revolves around making "no" your default answer to new opportunities. It's obviously more subtle than that though. By making "no" your default answer, you leave plenty of space for your "hell yeah"'s. And by having that space, you can fully pursue them, which is required for maximum fulfillment. The subtlety is that sometimes you need to say "yes" to more things if you're looking for new opportunities. But when you find the thing you'd like to pursue, start saying "no" to everything else.
Do. It's easy to say what you want to do, but your actions ultimately show what you value. So if you've been saying you want to do something for a long time either think hard about if you actually want it or start doing it and find out if you actually want it. It's fine if you don't. Now you can stop wasting your time thinking about.
You have more control than you think. Usually it's a matter of finding a new perspective on your situation. If you can find the right perspective, you can fully own a situation and adapt it towards what you're trying to achieve. Ownership gives you agency and that feels great.
Surprise yourself. You grow by doing what excites you and scares you. If something does both, it's probably a good idea to pursue it. The most fulfilling things in life are at the edge of your comfort zone. If you keep expanding it, there will always be something fulfilling to pursure.
Log
2025.03.28
Character predicts your future
Character is the result of your little choices and little actions.
How you do anything is how you do everything. It all matters.
Small actions change your self-identity
The world treats you as you treat yourself. Your actions show the world who you are.
If you’re not feeling “hell yeah!” then say no
Saying no makes your yes more powerful.
Refuse almost everything. Do almost nothing. But the things you do, do them all the way.
This is a decision to stop deciding. It’s one decision, in advance, that the answer to all future distractions is “no” until you finish what you started. It’s saying yes to one thing, and no to absolutely everything else.
People say that your first reaction is the most honest, but I disagree. Your first reaction is usually outdated.
Tilting my mirror (motivation is delicate)
When you notice that something is affecting your drive, find a way to adjust your environment, even if that’s a little inconvenient for others.
I rebel against anything that feels like addiction. When I hear myself saying “I need this,” I want to challenge that dependency and prove my independence.
Getting out of a bad state of mind
Kimo’s high expectations set a new pace for me. He taught me that “the standard pace is for chumps” — that the system is designed so anyone can keep up. If you’re more driven than most people, you can do way more than anyone expects. And this principle applies to all of life, not just school.
...half of my effort wasn’t effort at all, but just unnecessary stress that made me feel like I was doing my best.
Every business wants to get you addicted to their infinite updates, pings, chats, messages, and news. But if what you want out of life is to create, then those are your obstacles.
You get no competitive edge from consuming the same stuff everyone else is consuming. It’s rare, now, to focus. And it gives such better rewards.
Unlikely places and untangled goals
It’s so important to separate the real goal from the old mental associations. We have old dreams. We have images we want to re-create. They’re hard to untangle from the result we really want. They become excuses, and reasons to procrastinate.
Think like a bronze medalist, not silver
If you catch yourself burning with envy or resentment, think like the bronze medalist, not the silver. Change your focus. Instead of comparing up to the next-higher situation, compare down to the next-lower one.
Imagining lots of tedious steps? Or one fun step?
Even if you say you want to do something, if you catch yourself thinking of it in many tedious steps, maybe you don’t really want to do it.
Ultimately, only you know what to do, based on all the feedback you’ve received and all your personal nuances that no one else knows.
Many people are so worried about looking good that they never do anything great. Many people are so worried about doing something great that they never do anything at all.
You destroy that paralysis when you think of yourself as just a student, and your current actions as just practice.
This is way better than forgiving. When you forgive, you’re still assuming that they’re wrong and you’re the victim.
But to decide it’s your fault feels amazing! Now you weren’t wronged. People were just playing their part in the situation you helped create.
What power! Now you’re the person who made things happen, made a mistake, and can learn from it. Now you’re in control and there’s nothing to complain about.
Think of every bad thing that happened to you, and imagine that you happened to it.
Obvious to you. Amazing to others.
How to do what you love and make good money
Do something for love and something for money. Don’t try to make one thing satisfy your entire life.
You don’t need confidence, just contribution.
Learning without doing is wasted. If I don’t use what I learn, then it was pointless! How horrible to waste those hundreds of hours I spent learning, and not turn it into action. Like throwing good food in the trash, it’s morally wrong.
Let pedestrians define the walkways
Parenting : Who is it really for?
The most successful people I know have a narrow focus, protect themselves against time-wasters, say no to almost everything, and have let go of old limiting beliefs.
Smart people don’t think others are stupid
Being smart means thinking things through. It means trying to find the real answer, not the easiest answer.
Being stupid means avoiding thinking by jumping to conclusions. Jumping to a conclusion is like quitting a game. You lose by default.
That’s why saying “I don’t know” is usually smart — because it’s refusing to jump to a conclusion.
You really learn only when you’re surprised. If you’re not surprised, then everything is fitting into your existing thought patterns. So to get smarter, you need to get surprised, think in new ways, and deeply understand different perspectives.
Nothing at all. Nothing has inherent meaning. It is what it is and that’s it. We just choose to project meaning onto things. It feels good to make stories.
Goals shape the present, not the future.
The purpose of goals is not to improve the future. The future doesn’t exist. It’s only in our imagination. All that exists is the present moment and what you do in it.
Judge a goal by how well it changes your actions in the present moment.
A bad goal makes you say, “I want to do that someday.” A great goal makes you take action immediately.
Inspiration is not receiving information. Inspiration is applying what you’ve received.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
If you think you haven’t found your passion…
You grow by doing what excites you and what scares you.
2025.03.27
It’s crucial to know why you’re doing what you’re doing.
Whatever you decide, you need to optimize for that goal, and be willing to let go of the others.
You can’t diffuse your energy, trying to do a little bit of everything, or you’ll always be in conflict with yourself.
Imitate. We are imperfect mirrors.
Like a funhouse mirror that distorts what it reflects, your imitation will turn out much different from the original. Maybe even better.
Public comments are just feedback on something you made. They’re worth reading to see how this thing has been perceived... All people know is what you’ve chosen to show them.
2025.03.26
I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of good journal prompts from this book.
Actions, not words, reveal our real values
Our actions always reveal our real values... No matter what you say, your actions reveal the truth... Your actions show you what you actually want.
There are two smart reactions to this:
- Stop lying to yourself, and admit your real priorities.
- Start doing what you say you want to do, and see if it’s really true.
Keep earning your title, or it expires
Stop fooling yourself. Be honest about what’s past and what’s present. Retiring outdated titles lets you admit what you’re really doing now.
This is a very freeing thought. But also very scary. That's probably the point though. Thinking of yourself as what you were once doing doesn't help you be what you are at this moment.
2025.03.25
What if you didn't need money or attention?
We do so many things for the attention, to feel important or praised. But what if you had so much attention and so much praise that you couldn’t possibly want any more? What would you do then? What would you stop doing?
We do so many things for the money, whether we need it or not. But what if you had so much money that you couldn’t possibly want any more? What would you do then? What would you stop doing?
I think I'd just keep trying to make things that I'm happy with. I'd probably make the same thing over and over again until it was exactly how I'd want it.
In the process, I would seek out new ideas I'd never thought of. Maybe I'd connect with the person who had the idea and we'd share more ideas.
I'd make my things available, but not in an intentional way. It'd be discoverable though. Maybe someone else would find it and enjoy it and I'd make another connection.